I joined a challenge at the beginning of the year through HopeWriters.com. They emailed a 5-day writing prompt for Instagram (#hopewriterlife) to help us to grow our writing skills. It was hard and fun and I’m proud to have stuck with it. For the next couple of days, I am posting my daily writings to share with you.
My hope is always that my writing may encourage, inspire or bring connection to those who join me here. Thank you for reading, it means the world to me!
Day 3: Renew
The prompt for the day is “renew”. Honestly, I had no idea what to write for this because the truth feels too deep and too painful.
I have prayed for renewal in a friendship that I deeply cherished, only to watch her life quietly from a distance.
I have prayed for renewal in a relationship with my father whom I haven’t spoken to in 9 years. I still am unsure what happened but I am profoundly aware of the wound it has caused (and the healing that hasn’t happened.)
Unfortunately, there are many more desperate renewal, revival, resurrection-type pleadings that I’ve had to bury, unanswered, with a heavy heart and puffy eyes.
God’s ways are not my own. His timing does not cater to my schedule no matter how much I attempt to sync my watch with His. There are simply things too holy for me to understand. God does have a plan for my good and His glory. Knowing this does not make it any easier when living in the reality of feeling cast aside or forgotten.
It is also in these desolate, grieving places that I am finding a different meaning of renewal. This restoration is steadily seeping into all of the cracks in my shattered heart, gluing it together with hope and peace that I could never explain.
I wish I could tie all of my words up with a pretty white bow and offer you wisdom on how to permanently exit the valley. But I’m clearly still trudging along, following the footsteps of a God who deeply adores me and is overwhelmingly good to me. One step at a time I am walking in my own Psalm 51:10 moment, asking for renewal and trusting that the God who made me is restoring me in ways I have only begun to see.