I’m an organizer, a constant cleaner. My husband would argue that it’s an obsession. I can’t help it. I like a clutter-free, clean home. It makes my brain less stressed and overwhelmed.
My problem isn’t that I like to clean or rearrange things..it’s that I get so side tracked, jumping from one task to the next, or that I’m so focused I forget simple things, like pausing to eat. I mean really? Who in their right mind doesn’t remember food?
Get it together sister.
I know I need rest. Not just the napping kind. I’m talking the deep, soul-quenching, run to Jesus kind of rest. But my “Martha-state-of-mind” refuses to slow down and sit at His feet. There is always so much to get done! Then add in a couple little kiddos and nothing stays clean or organized. Ever. Talk about a girl’s nightmare!
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mommy, it’s just hard for me to ignore the mess. It’s almost as if I have let the mess define me as a mom and wife. The messier it seems, the less “mom enough” and “wife enough” I feel.
Maybe you can relate?
Even though I KNOW this thought process is absolutely satan-fueled, full of lies and hurtful, it still creeps in and tries to take root. But instead of measuring my mom-ness or wife-ness on the state of my home, I am going to lean into Jesus and let Him remind me of who I am. This starts with prayer, seeking the truth of who God is and who He made me to be. Then I need to be ok with resting, enjoying the life happening around me..it’s not chaos, its blessing.
My children’s need to be held and comforted so strongly resembles my need to be held and loved by my sweet Jesus. I don’t deny a snuggle or another book when they ask, and neither does Jesus.
Thanks to Covid-19, I’m slowly leaning into the “Mary-at-Jesus’-feet” side of my soul a little more. There’s nothing wrong with just “being” for a little while and taking a much needed break from “doing”. Sometimes we just need a little reminder. Don’t you agree?