Postpartum anxiety has been hard. There are days I feel great and almost “normal” (if there even is such a thing.) Then there are the days that I feel overwhelm and anxiety have such a strong grip on me that I may never get free.
I cope by staying busy and filling my day with lots of noise (podcasts, social media, music) so that I won’t hear or feel the gravity of things haunting me. This coping method has only caused me to grow numb to all feelings (even the good) and has allowed the anxiety to grow bigger, uglier. It’s presence is very much visible in my health, mental and physical, my spiritual life, my marriage and my motherhood. I can’t run from it, though I have tried.
I have begun memorizing this psalm in an effort to remind my soul to sit still with God. No matter how uncomfortable or hard it is. Allow Him to comfort and restore my soul, trust that He is providing for me and protecting me even when I feel surrounded and exposed.
I have also learned that being gentle with myself and listening to what my body needs is vital for thriving instead of just surviving each day. Sometimes this looks like just eating enough good food, taking a nap when I can, reading a book or doing a puzzle instead of scrolling IG, getting outside in my garden and dreaming of the plants that will grow. I use essential oils sometimes, have to remind myself to breathe through the panic attacks, and am learning to reach out for help when I feel it becoming too much.
I say all of this to let you know that you aren’t alone if you’re struggling too. Mental health is weird and it’s incredibly hard. Thank goodness we don’t have to experience it alone. ❤️
“His goodness and mercy will follow me, I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”Yes and amen.