So lately I’ve been trying to form a new habit called the “Word Before World” (coined by Gretchen Saffles of Well-Watered Women Co). The idea is that first thing in the morning you seek the Word (Jesus) before looking to the world (social media). Some days it is so not easy, especially if you work or have children. Other mornings getting into the Word feels as easy as breathing.

The past couple of weeks I have realized something… My intentions are sometimes prideful, selfish and reputation oriented. I tend to jump into the word to feel better about myself or to be a “good Christian girl”. Instead of reading to know God better, I am reading to check off my to do list or posting so that others see that I am in the Word. Does that feel as gross to read as it did for me to admit?

The issue is found within my heart posture, misguided motivations and my own expectations of what I believe I should receive if I show up for a quick 5-minute glance at God.

Instead of sitting in the throne room with Him and listening to His wisdom-whispers, I get too caught up in checking off the devotions box and moving on to the next task. Even as a stay-at-home-mom, I’m busy and the minutes aren’t going any slower. I’m not thriving. I don’t start my day in the peace and truth of God. I’m stressed by the chaos in the world. I’m exhausted by how loud social media gets. I’m not enjoying in the blessing of my life and motherhood that God has given me because I’m waking up to see “that girl’s life” on my IG feed. And instead of following God and living out the calling He has given me, I’m chasing after “her” calling and wondering why I’m not getting anywhere (or why I feel so unfulfilled.)

I want to realign my desires with His.

My goal in the morning is to seek God first and to hear His words instead of telling Him about my ideas for the day. When I dig into my bible, I want to purposefully look for what God is teaching me about Him. I want to learn about His character and the unrelenting, stop-at-nothing-to-rescue-me love He has for me. I want to experience His mercy and grace and settle into the steadfastness of Him.

I want to wake up craving to be with my Father. I want to run to Him when life gets hard, seeking His peace and trusting His plan instead of trying to fix it myself or pray for another way. I want to lean on His strength to withstand the storms and to find His joy in the hardships so that when the blessings come, I can fully enjoy all that God intends for me to.

These things can only come when a heart is surrendered to the will of God, when a life is laid down daily in servanthood at the feet of Jesus. This is the kind of life I want to live. This is the heart for Christ I so desperately crave.

And I want this for you too! Whoever you are reading, right this second, can I just give you a virtual hug and pray with you?

**Father, I pray for this sweet, beautiful daughter reading this post right now. I know she is going through more than she can handle on her own and life feels immensely harder than it ever should. I know you love her more than words could ever express. You made her with loving, holy hands. Cradling her in the safety of your arms and whispering joy and purpose and peace into her ears. You still whisper these things, Lord, but would you let her hear your love and Truth. Be louder than the world. Would you meet with her today and let her feel your presence? Please lean low and surround her with peace. I know that she loves you and wants to know you deeper but that sometimes life is so busy with kids or work or just trying to survive. Will you honor the desires in her heart to know you better and meet her where she is? Build margin into her life so that she can be poured into by your Holy Spirit. Lord, search her heart and bring to light any sin that is hurting her. Let her know that there is forgiveness (never shame) to be found at your feet to anyone who repents and cries out to you for help. Sing over her and guide her feet as she walks into the world today. May her lips speak truth and love, her hands seek to serve others, and the fruit of her life overflow to everyone she meets. I pray that this sweet friend of mine with glorify you in all that you have created her to do. I am so grateful for her. I love you Jesus. In your holy name I pray, Amen.**

I’ve got my Bible laid out, my prayer journal and pen ready and my alarm set for a divine appointment in the heavenly throne room this morning. And today is the day that I start moving forward, seeking after the heart of my Savior.